Couldn't Stay Away, Couldn't Fight It
by LeighKelly
Summary: When I looked down, my heart wouldn't stop racing as I saw the white dress that gathered at my waist and draped down to a pool at my feet. I closed my eyes, reflecting on just how Santana and I had gone from knowing that someday we'd get it right, to actually getting it right. One-Shot, sort of sequel to Out of the Blue, Uninvited, Brittany's POV.


**Author's Note: So, when I wrote Out of the Blue, Uninvited, I was reacting to certain spoilers that infuriated me. Now, I wrote this because my brain seriously doesn't even know how to process all of these pictures and spoilers that have hit in the past few days and my feelings kind of threw up in word form. Anyway, just a warning, there's a flashback in here that is what I (and my lovely Shan, because she deserves so much credit for part of the chessboard theory) make of the pictures. So, spoiler alert, I guess, if we can even call it that? Enjoy!**

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><p>In the summer months, the sun that beats down sucks the moisture out of the air, burns the fair skin of my cheeks to the point where it hurts to smile. But not in October. Once the fall settles in, the sun turns from hot to warm, from oppressive, to comforting, the same warmth of coming home, the same warmth I'd always felt when I was wrapped up in Santana's arms. That's why we'd always said that we'd get married then, when the sun was kinder. The apple orchard thing, well, that all came about in our senior year of high school, my <em>first <em>senior year. Santana was scared then, so scared that even all the warm sun and sweet embraces couldn't stop the chill that settled in her heart whenever she thought of labels, of the consequences of embracing who she was, of stepping out into her sun, to _our _sun, with our hands clasped together. But there was one afternoon, a Sunday that October, when I'd asked her to go apple picking with me, a day that the sun felt even more comforting to me than it ever had before.

Digging into my purse for a ten dollar bill, I'd bought us candy apples and cider, and we'd walked through the orchard together, pinkies linked because we couldn't hold hands just yet, one of those days that _I _knew was a date, but she'd yet to figure it out. After we'd finished eating and our basket was filled with Gala apples, she'd tugged me urgently behind a cluster of trees. Carefully checking to make sure no one else was around, and she'd kissed me, so much of her warm skin pressed against mine, and for the first time in my life, just one simple kiss made me see stars. During the easy days, those short lived in between times after we'd recovered from Reggie Salazar's commercial, and before long distances and energy exchanges, I'd told her that some day, we'd get married in an orchard, the rays of sun reminding us of everything good that our life together would hold. Her response was simple, _whatever you want, B, I'll marry you anywhere, anytime, _but it told me so much, it told me that it wasn't just me that knew we were forever.

Six years later, I was standing in that same apple orchard where we'd once shared stolen kisses, the sun beating down again while I stood behind one of those folding privacy things (I still had trouble with names sometimes, but only for things that didn't really matter so much). My shoulders were bare, and my hair was piled up on the top of my head, and when I looked down, my heart wouldn't stop racing as I saw the white dress that gathered at my waist and draped down to a pool at my feet. My mother and my sister had finally given me a minute to myself, and I closed my eyes, reflecting on just how Santana and I had gone from knowing that _someday _we'd get it right, to _actually _getting it.

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><p><em>It was only three months after I'd stormed into the Kurtcheltana loft (seriously, everyone I knew was obsessed with those silly portmanteaus, and they'd called <em>me _stupid) trying to stake my claim on Santana. I was scared, she was scared, and even though we'd both said the word __**forever **__so many times, it was still so hard for me to wait. Harder than string theory, harder than calculus, even harder than chess, which, as it turned out, I was kind of awesome at. I was out on the quad at MIT playing human chess (I'm Brittany Susan Pierce, creator of the Brittany Code, I was kind of a big deal there, if I wanted to play human chess, someone found me humans). Chess was a mindless game for me, I just did it, and tried my hardest not to think about what pawns and kings and queens and bishops meant in the real world. The sun was hot that day, too hot, because it was May, and the summer was just beginning, but as I called out over my megaphone for a black knight to move, I felt goosebumps rise up on the back of my neck. I didn't have to look up to know that it was Santana, her presence called out to me, like it always did. Finally finding her face in a sea of people, I put down the megaphone, and I waited for her to come to me._

_"Hi." She said quietly, her arms crossed over her body in her scared stance that I knew all too well. "What are you doing?"_

"_Practicing chess." I shrugged, and I caught the tug at the left side of her mouth that always came right when she wanted to smile, but wasn't sure if she could. "It's way more fun this way."_

_"Looks like it." She glanced over at the board, and then back to me. "Can I...can we maybe talk?"_

_"Sure." I chirped, trying to hide my own nerves, then picked the megaphone back up. "Let's call it a day, people. Don't forget your spots for next week!"_

_The human pieces dispersed, and I sat down on the steps, gesturing for her to sit beside me. I watched her struggle for a minute, obviously not sure how to position her body, and without second thought, I extended my pinky, the one form of touch that we could always have, no matter what else was happening in our lives. Letting that smile finally come to her face, just the faintest hint of her dimples showing, she took it. She didn't say anything, but her knee jiggled and I turned to look her in the eye._

_"What's up?" I asked her. "Are you here to tell me some kind of bad news? Oh God, Santana, please don't tell me something else terrible happened."_

_"No, no. Oh Britt, no. I'm sorry. I'm just a little overwhelmed being here. I mean, there's a freaking building named after you, and every single person knew exactly who you were and where I could find you."_

_"Eh, what can I say?" I smirked a little. "I'm kind of a big deal."_

_"I always knew you would be." She said softly, her eyes scanning the campus again. _

_"I know you did." I let my pinky squeeze hers, reassuring her that fancy building or not, genius or not, I was still Brittany, and she was still Santana, and at the end of the day, that was all that really mattered. "But I don't think you came here just to check out the scenery, and I'm not dating anyone, so I know this isn't the way we've been meeting too often lately, so what's going on?"_

_"Did you hear from Tina, or Trouty, or whoever about what fucking Sue did now?"_

_"No, I haven't really talked to anyone. Every time I talked to one of them, they would say something that would bring me down, and I just, didn't really care to hear some things. I don't know, I just don't really have anything to say to them anymore. Is that wrong?"_

_"Nah, it's okay." She smiled one of those smiles she never gave to anyone else but me, or, at least I'd hoped that was still true. "I see enough of most of them for the two of us, trust me. I even saw Guppy Face himself when he was in New York, not exactly by choice"_

_"Wow." I laughed, the most genuine laugh I'd given in a long time. "Where did you hide his body?"_

_"I let him live, this time. He's not a bad guy, when I don't have to worry about him putting hands on you."_

_"You don't." I shook my head, chastising her a little, because hello, pot, meet kettle (I finally got that expression!) "But okay, tell me what Sue did, and why she's still running our lives even though we don't go to McKinley anymore."_

_"The Glee club lost nationals. I mean, obviously, they're pretty shitty without us, and Sue finally got her wish and put an end to them."_

_"Okay." I looked at her confused. "But what does that have to do with us?"_

_"They're kind of having some last hurrah thing, which I would normally prefer to stay about a thousand miles from, but it's important to Rachel. Knowing the New Directions were still there was kind of like last connection to Finn for her, and I'm trying to be a supportive friend, and like a good person, or whatever. Last time I was there though, I had a sort of mental breakdown, and I swore I'd never go back there without you. I guess, why I'm here, is because I wanted to ask if you would go home with me?"_

_"What about your girlfriend?" I asked, not accusatory, just curious. "I mean, I know we've kind of established where we stand in the future, but taking a trip with your ex doesn't seem like something she'd really find acceptable."_

_"Well, she's kind of my ex too. I got caught up in this weird idea of how great it would be to be, like, I don't know..." She trailed off, and I nodded, letting her know that some of her vicious words were part of why I didn't really want to hear from our old friends anymore, because I just couldn't hear about it from anyone but her, and that we'd have a talk about why she'd said those things, but not in that moment. "I'm not here because it's over with her though, I'm just here because you're you, and Lima isn't home without you."_

_"Okay." I said simply, nodding my head._

_"Okay you understand, or okay you'll go with me?"_

_"Okay I'll go with you. I think we have a lot to talk about, Santana. I miss you, and as more than just my girlfriend. I miss you as my best friend, I miss knowing what goes on in your head, I miss laughing with you, even though sometimes you're way too mean. So yeah, I'll go."_

_"Thank you, Britt."_

_"Thanks for coming for me."_

_"Even when I have to leave, I can never really fully leave you behind."_

_We ended up in Lima for five days, her staying with her parents and me staying with mine. We were surrounded by people, most of the time, but every morning, before we'd meet up to partake in whatever reunion sad-fest that had been planned for the day, we'd have breakfast together and we'd talk, we'd figure out all the ways we'd gone wrong, and even though we didn't talk about the future, the _how we would do it differently now _was kind of implied. We talked about why I'd jumped right into Sam's arms, because I couldn't stand the hurt, why she'd said the things she'd said about me, because she had always had a really, really hard time with accepting her own share of any sort of blame, and we each apologized for our own transgressions. On the third day, right before I dropped her at Rachel's house so she could go with her to bring flowers to Finn's grave, I took her hand and squeezed it hard. l'd just wanted to remind her that my heart was with her, even if it was something she had to do with the girl who'd somehow become her closest friend alone. It ended up meaning so much more though, ended up meaning _I want to get this right before it's too late.

_A few hours later, the doorbell to my parents' house rang, and though I wasn't expecting anyone, it came as no surprise to me that it was her. What I didn't expect though was the state that she was in as she stood there, shifting from foot to foot. Her hair was pulled back in a hurried bun, and her face was streaked with tears, her breathing uneven. Before I could open my mouth to say anything, her hands were on each side of my face, and her lips were against mine. I could feel how badly she wanted to deepen the kiss, but she didn't, she waited for me to do it. Seeing her like that, all I wanted was to give her everything she ever wanted, all I wanted was to make her feel better, but I waited. When her lips detached, she pulled back slightly, but she gripped my shoulders furiously._

"_I can't. Brittany. I can't do this anymore. If something happened to you, they'd be burying me with you." She sobbed. "I can't wait any longer. Rachel, she was waiting, and she had a plan, and now it's over, done, she can't go back and have every moment that she missed with him. I can't miss any more moments with you."_

"_Santana-"_

"_No, please. Please just let me say this first." She begged, and I nodded. "I love you, you're forever, and I need our forever to start now. We'll do the long distance thing, or I'll move to Boston, or we'll move to the fucking moon if we have to. I just want you, no matter where and no matter how. I swear to God, we'll make it work."_

"_Oh honey." I sighed, tears filling my eyes as I pulled her closer to me. "For the first time in a long time, we're on the same page again. We've talked about us, our past, our plans for each of our own futures, we've all but worked out where we stand. I love you more than I'll ever love anyone else in this world. And I don't care how hard it is, I think we're ready to really make it work."_

_If I'd have had my way, no one would have seen us for the next two days, we would have been locked up in a bedroom, or a car, or a port-a-potty for all I cared, anywhere with walls where we could just have all the sex we'd missed out on in more than half a year. But Santana was so serious about being a better person, about being there for Rachel, that we still had to be present. But we had our breakfasts, and we had the nights, and by the time we'd made it to the airport, with her in an MIT sweatshirt that she'd stolen from my bag, headed to two different cities, we knew that there were weekends, and that there were buses and trains that would make the distance seem shorter. Unlike the last time we'd said goodbye in an airport, we were together again, and we had a plan about how we could stay together despite the miles between us. When she kissed me like we were in one of those cheesy romantic comedies that she loved so much and whispered _we're gonna make it now _in my ear, I knew that for the first time, we were really on the right path to the rest of our lives._

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><p>"Britt!" I heard the sharp whisper of Santana soon to be Pierce-Lopez from the other side of my privacy wall, and I closed my eyes before peeking my head around.<p>

"Santana! We can't see each other before the wedding!"

"I know, I know we can't. My eyes are closed, I can't see you." She laughed nervously. "But I snuck away from fucking Rachel because I really just wanted one more kiss from my fiancé, before you become my wife."

At her words, I felt that same warmth fill my chest that I always felt when she was close by. From the moment I dropped down on one knee in front of my girl in a red dress, after giving my Valedictorian speech at MIT (I was no joke, seriously) and asked her to marry me, she had probably called me her fiancé or her future wife close to a million times, but never, ever would I tire of hearing it, and never, ever would I stop being reminded of how good it felt that we'd really made it to that point in our lives. Every night, in our tiny one bedroom apartment in East Harlem, as we made love, or shared ice cream, or watched crappy movies, I knew that all the acting jobs she took, or the fame she'd find, all the theorems I came up with in my new job at Columbia, or all the money we'd make in our future would never come close to comparing to what it felt like to be young and in love.

"How are we going to kiss if neither of us can see each other?" I asked, giggling and stretching out my hand, trying to feel for her.

"I'll walk towards you, just guide me with your voice."

"Find my hand." I told her, and waited until I felt it in mine before stepping towards her. "You better not be lying to me about your eyes being closed."

"Never. You know I'm superstitious and I borrowed like four old blue scarves from Rachel and have them tied buried all up under this dress. This is our forever, Britt, I'd never do anything to mess it up."

"I love you. I love you so much, Santana. I'm so glad that you're about to be my wife." I said softly, feeling her with my hand. After the suck of her teeth after I totally squeezed one of her boobs cheekily, I moved up to her face, finding her lips, and then replacing my fingers with my lips, wrapping my arms around her neck and sighing into her.

"I'll never be so glad about anything in my life." She promised. "Except maybe when we have babies."

"Lots of babies."

"Whatever you want, B." I heard in her voice that she remembered exactly what she'd said to me eight Octobers earlier. "I'll have babies with you anywhere, anytime."

"We should totally start attempting that tonight." I teased, and her lips pressed against mine again. "Let's go get married."

My hand slipped down to find hers, and we took two steps before I felt my sister at my side, and heard the shrill pitch of Rachel's voice beside Santana. Before they could pull us apart and bring us to our respective fathers, I brought her wrist to my lips and placed a firm kiss there and her fingers tapped against my cheek. When we both made it down the aisle, neither of us even registered the other people that surrounded us, it was just her and I, the warmth of the sun beating down on us, hand pressed to hearts, foreheads close together, placing the final seal on a promise we'd made years earlier. We said our _I Do__'__s, _we exchanged rings, we kissed in front of everyone who meant something to us, but more important than anything, we knew that no matter what, we would never let each other go.


End file.
